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Heart, Humor & Optimism Revisited

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My Final Letter

 H20 to Go!

Growing Emotional Resilience and Navigating Through Childhood

with Heart, Humor & Optimism

BY Margo Judge

Updated 2009

H20 to Go! Copyright, 2004
By  Margo Judge

All rights reserved.
All material on this website protected.
Permission granted for reprinting with
Attribution to Margo@MomOpinion Matters (TM)

Installment #49

Congratulations to us!  We did it! Take a look out and beyond!
I told you the view was wonderful. I told you it would stretch as far as you could see!. I knew you would make it! See all the way down behind at where we started? And look at you! You've grown heart and soul. You've grown Humor and Optimism. Yes, I'm crying, for this journey has now ended and I must say good-bye but too, with so much joy and with such a peaceful heart forever attached on a string to yours.
and while not near, never far . .. never far.

We attached their hearts to ours, forever bonded. (Chapter 1-Growing a Heart) We showed them how to laugh at a world they could not yet understand.(Chapter 2-Bridge Over Troubled Water) Then, we walked with them , and talked with them and made sure they saw out in all directions, (Chapter 3,4,5-Offering Perpsective). And now, it comes time to leave them to travel their own path , with faith in themselves, and hope in their future, and belief that they can accomplish anything. (Chapter 6: Final Destination)
Heart, Humor & Optimism Revisted
My son's English teacher in lower school was tough. She did not want to hear that the dog ate anyone's homework. She told the kids, at the very beginning of the year, that she expected homework to be done, and that they would get a zero, if it were not. She demanded decorum, insisted that they say good morning to her when she walked into the room, and would simply not tolerate any inappropriate behavior in her class. But, she also showed a wicked sense of humor, and had the kids laughing a lot during class. The most important quality she possessed, however, was an obvious love for and commitment to children, and a belief that each and every child in that class could achieve. She refused, under any circumstances, to lower the bar. She would do everything in her power to help any student reach it, but lower it? Even slightly? Never!

The result?  Because she believed in them, her students believed in themselves and strove consistently to do their best and gain her respect. When my son received a good grade in her class, he was on top of the world. He felt so proud, and so accomplished. And, in spite of her strictness, in spite of her heavy homework load, in spite of her insistence on manners, every single student in her class loved her, every single one.

So, inner faith?  Where does it come from in a child?  It comes first, from someone who loves that child unconditionally and believes totally in that child. Children are keenly perceptive. They know what we really think by our faces, if not by our words and actions. They will know how we really feel about them, by our expressions, our reactions, our words, and our actions. So it is up to us, regardless of our past, or present doubts, or fears, to help them believe in their future, not ours. That is why we say--

This too shall pass,
Tomorrow is another day.
It ain't over till its over.
With God, all things are possible.

Every time we say those things, we are reaffirming the future,
we are saying-Don't worry, I still believe in you,
even though you're not succeeding right now,
or you've been knocked down,
or you're struggling through something,

I still believe in you.
Life happens,
You can get past this,
Good times always follow bad.
You can make this happen, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but your time will come.
I love you and I have faith in you.
If there is cardinal rule of parenting, it is this:
that if our children know that our hearts are theirs,
that we love them unconditionally,
that we hold their best interests before our own,
that we will protect them, in spite of themselves,
and that we continue to have the utmost faith in their potential,
they will be be fine.
And if all through their growing up we act like a loving rock
they can push up against,
throw things at,
try to push over.
or get past.
But one
They can also embrace
hide behind,
lean on,
or seek shelter by
one day, they will grow enough to see over and beyond,
and then, almost like magic, simply climb over,
and give a happy wave good-bye, on their way towards new freedoms
and the next rock climb.

We must, we must, we must, make sure our children know we love them with all our heart and soul, supply ample opportunity for fun and laughs, offer a world of perspective and consistently show Optimism. If we hold our children in high esteem, keep the bar up, and the rock in place, one day, when we least expect it, we will hear them say, it's ok, I’m not too worried, I’11 find another way, I’11 figure it out, there's always a plan B, or C, or D!
And when much older, they will speak of the hope and faith we placed in their hands for their own future, and for the future of their children and their children's children.  In such a way, will we build a legacy of Heart, Humor & Optimism.
God Bless and God Bless our children twice.
Margo Judge