Book-On-Line: Chapter
6/ Taking Humor Seriously Preview: And
while we’re on the issue of pushing the envelope in getting our kids to explain their opinions, (How? Why?
When? Where? What?)9th Grade: Playing News Reporter they are pushing the envelope in how they cope with
their lives and the world around them.
When I initially spoke of humor, at the very beginning of this
book. I said that Humor was actually a toddler’s precursor to Perspective.Humor: Bridge Over Troubled Waters The ability to watch something turn inside out
or upside down, see characters in silly and outrageous circumstances, or imagine outlandish situations introduces our very
young children to other possibilities that encourage both Imagination and as well as Perspective.
Well, we are
no longer reading humor books to them. They are no longer watching funny videos. While we are still trying offer them as much
perspective as possible, they have taken coping into their own hands They absolutely want and need to see their lives and
the world from an alternate perspective. So, what is one of the major ways, they can do this? With humor! And
talk about pushing the envelope! Humor takes on a far different image when it is used by teens! Yikes! Why on earth
would they think that was funny!!?? H20 to Go! Growing Emotional Resilience and Navigating Through Childhood with Heart, Humor & Optimism BY Margo Judge Updated
2009 H20 to Go! Copyright, 2004
By Margo Judge All rights reserved.
All material on this website protected.
Permission
granted for reprinting with
Attribution to Margo@MomOpinion Matters (TM)
 |
|
Chapter 6/High School/Huffing & Puffing to the
Top Taking Humor Seriously
We’re Not In Kansas Anymore!
A parent came to me so upset. Her teenage son had written a politically incorrect draft of a flyer in reference to party
to a friend. The friend showed it to another friend. One thing led to another, it was printed up as a flyer and her son ended
up suspended for having written it. She was shocked that her son could think like that. He was a very good student, active
in his school, and well respected. Their family would never condone such a thing. What had happened! What was he thinking??!!!
Her son was also very upset. He thought everyone had way overreacted! Of course, he was not a racist!!!! He had friends who
could tell them that! He was just being funny!
I told her that we parents have a dilemma:
Dressing up as a suicide
bomber for Halloween? Coming as Hitler to a costume party?
Sending around a "humorous" racist flyer as
satire?
We think--juvenile in the least, hateful in the extreme.
And they think funny? Yes, they do!
Perhaps
we first need to understand that young people do not yet have the perspective to distance themselves from a figure, situation
or issue and see its impact on others. It is true that Perspective actually begins with Humor. And Humor will offer young
children a great defense mechanism for that which they might find uncomfortable, depressing or frightening. But the ability
then use humor appropriately becomes, for our teenagers, a very challenging skill. Certainly no pre-teen or teenager is going
to be either diplomatic or balanced in his or her humor! Left to their own, they will naturally say or do inappropriate, things,
thinking in all innocence and honesty that such things are just funny—like what they watch or hear.
And why
shouldn't they? Our teens hear comedians poke sometimes crude, sometimes brilliant fun at everyone and everything. They can
view on the Internet, countless raunchy and/or satiric cartoons depicting terrorists, demagogues, politicians and/or celebrities.
They can watch Saturday Night Live or Comedy Central skits lampooning leaders and events. Why then wouldn’t they naturally
assume they could say or do the same? What's the big deal??!!! Why does everyone get so uptight! We don't mean any harm! It's
just a joke guys! Lighten up! They do not see the difference between "funny", and "tasteless". They think
we can't see the difference between social satire and bigotry or racism or insensitivity.
Society today has not
made it any easier. While television and the Internet have made political incorrect humor easily accessible, political
correctness is so pervasive, that what I might have heard from comedians in my day could not fly today. People in the work
place are super sensitive to what might be considered a slight, or put down. And we are ever conscious at a party or
gathering of the joke that might be insensitive, or the story that might offend.
And yet humor prevails.
We long to laugh-at ourselves, at others and at situations. We look forward to John Stewart, Tina Fey, Jay Leno. Saturday
Night Live, Comedy Central. We need humor. We need to laugh. We need to exaggerate and poke fun at the world.
Yes, we need funny, and so do our teens-very badly. While teens may be moment driven and single focused, they still
have concerns about a world not at all consistent, reasonable, fair or safe. How do they cope? They find humor in it. And
being the age they are, their humor is going to be dark, sardonic, over the top, raunchy, politically incorrect, and targeted
at anything and everything.
I then sat down with her teen.
Social satire is very tricky, I said. It is hard
enough these days for any adult to get away with it, let alone you. Pure and simple, whether you think it right or wrong,
fair or unjust, society will never accept racial satire or politically incorrect commentary from a teenager! Others will not
respect your intent and will think your words both harmful and hurtful.
I appreciate that you might have meant no harm,
that not one of your friends thought it was racist, and that what you printed was actually funny. But even so, you need to
look at the larger picture here. Once you distribute a flyer, it goes out beyond your immediate social group. Your friends
are not the only ones who are going to read it--so will the entire student body, faculty, administration as well as some parents.
Your particular group might have found it acceptable, but would the larger school community? Could you vouch for everyone
else’s reaction? These are the questions you need to ask yourself before you distribute a flyer or post something
on the Internet. Who is your audience? Might you offend someone? Think twice. I know it might not seem fair
to you. But freedom of expression does come with some understood limits. Just as you cannot behave the same way
in all circumstances, Manners/Time & Place nor can you say what you think in all places or at all times.
You are no longer a child. You are a growing young adult and you must start to think in terms of a larger circle of
existence.
I then offered a suggestion to them both-A designated Time and Place.
We can create a time
and safe place for our teens to let loose and truly express themselves --sitting around the TV with friends, at home with
us in the kitchen. And in that protected environment they can let their thoughts fly and be as satirical or raunchy
as they want. It’s ok. It’s ok in that environment. But, they have to understand, as with all things, that
there is Time and Place for all things in life-as I have said before, one of the hardest concepts for teens to comprehend
and accept—one of the most important and necessary, however, if they wish to function and be successful in society.
A huge part of growing emotional maturity is realizing that they will not lose their individuality or freedom of expression
if they also self-censor. It is a sign of strength not weakness.
Yet another reason for us to be there—to
teach Time and Place yet again! And there's a lot to learn before lunch! H20 to Go! Growing Emotional Resilience and Navigating Through Childhood
with Heart, Humor & Optimism By
Margo Judge
Updated
2009 H20 to Go! Copyright, 2004
By Margo
Judge All rights reserved.
All material on this website protected.
Permission granted for reprinting with
Attribution to Margo@MomOpinion Matters (TM)
|
