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Ch 3/Issue #5/Final Word-Not Losing It

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Previous Installments #22 &23 Sports & Extra Curricular/ When Not to Quit

Installment #23
Chapter 3/ Issue #5
Sports & Extra-Curricular
The Final Word
 
 

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H20 TO GO!

Growing Emotional Resiliency & Navigating Through Childhood

with Heart, Humor & Optimism

By Margo Judge
 
 

H20-Updated 2009
Copyright, 2004
By Margo Judge

All rights reserved.
All material on this website protected.
Permission granted for reprinting with
Attribution to Margo@MomOpinion Matters (TM)

 


 Installment #23
 
 
Dear Athletes,
If you did not see this, click onto it on U-tube U-Tube VideoFrance captain Zinedine Zidane was red carded for headbutting Italy defender Marco Materazzi in the chest after the two exchanged words while walking down the field.   July 9, 2006)
Zidane, France’s most famous football player and captain was ejected from the 2006 World Cup Final, for head-butting another player.  He left the game in disgrace all because the opposing player said something supposedly very insulting.

Ok. What would you do if, in the middle of a game, someone insulted you really badly? How would you react, if someone called your mother or family member something really ugly? Be honest. You need to know how sensitive you are, and how vulnerable you might be to overreacting. What could someone SAY (not do) to put you at risk of losing control, or push you over the edge of reason? Ok. While you are thinking about that question, let me offer some extremely valuable life advice.  If you want to stay in control then you want to pick and choose your battles. You want to decide when and where to take action.

Don’t ever let others take VERBAL control of your behavior.
If they throw the first WORD punch—DO NOT GO FOR The BAIT! They are leading and they want you to follow. Don't ever allow others to alter your agenda.
They hope to change your game plan, by throwing your timing off,  redirecting your focus and screwing with your concentration. Don't give others the opportunity BY THEIR WORDS, to push your buttons-They will attack where you are most sensitive and vulnerable—just like Bullies. Bullies Are you beginning to see a pattern here?  They want you to make a move when you have the most to lose. If you blindly react out of pride, or honor, or whatever, they accomplished exactly what they want. They’ve  gotten you to retaliate, and once they've made you respond emotionally, without thinking, and put you on the defensive, they gain all the power. They have the control, they win.

This is vital for you to understand, especially those of you in any competition. You win nothing, and lose everything, if you put a game, a
competitive career, or a team at risk, for one moment of anger, for defense of honor or protection of pride. Such action is utterly useless, selfish, misdirected and powerless!
A Suggestion
Read about Jackie Robinson and the racism he endured.
Watch the movie "Gladiator" and pay specific attention to the scene when Commodus tries to get Maximus to react by goading him about how much his wife and child suffered and begged before they were massacred. If Jackie Robinson had charged into the stands and taken on any of the racists who yelled insults at him constantly, if he had stormed off the field in protest and declared-I'm out of here, I quit,history would have written his story very differently, and he would not have become one of our great players and admired heroes.
He fought back by putting his energy into his game, He forced others to watch, accept and ultimately respect him. He won the war.
If Maximus had reacted to Commodus, he would have been killed right there, which is exactly what Commodus wanted. He wanted Maximus to go for the bait, but Maximus refused to give Commodus that satisfaction. He would wait, and decide when and where to seek revenge, and he would ultimately be victorious.
 
You have a lot of power. Do not dissipate it, and certainly do not let others rob you of it!
Do what you love, and do it to best of your ability. Let others see you work hard to excel. In that way, and I will say this again, as I did when I spoke about Popularity,Popularity vs Respect people will be forced to take notice, they will have to accept your presence, and they will ultimately come to respect and admire you.

Head butting in the middle of a championship game, with everything on the line for you, your team and your country was such a wasted trade off! That single moment of angry pride could have transformed into steely energy directed towards positive motivated play, passing, making goals scoring, winning, and becoming a respected team member. And in the end, isn't that what Zidane really wanted?

Don't throw your dream away, by losing control. Don't let anyone take away your dream-certainly not, your own behavior! Put your anger into your game. You'd be surprised what power it will give you-much more positive, and long lasting.
Play hard and good luck!
Love,
Mama Judge!




H20-Updated 2009
Copyright, 2004
By Margo Judge

All rights reserved.
All material on this website protected.
Permission granted for reprinting with
Attribution to Margo@MomOpinion Matters (TM)