This Website is Dedicated to Helping Families, Teens, and Young Adults
One Issue at a Time,
With Heart, Humor & Optimism!
Humor & Optimism, All Things Are Possible" (Margo Judge)
to the Heart of the Matter should be Our Goal...
What End Do We Want For Our Youth?
one that enables another to achieve an end;
who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse)
by providing excuses or by making
it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior?
We now have a new form of enabler:
who allows self destructive social behavior to exist by providing emotional wellness excuses
for not connecting
with, conversing with, or living amongst diverse thought and opinion,
and making it possible to avoid the consequences
of such behavior.
And who is leading the New Enabler Movement?
Those in the academic
establishment: University professors, college teachers, campus administrators.
Just as doctors
have the power to prescribe anti depressants,
and/or administer powerful anesthetics to the nervous system,
so too, have college heads and faculty entered a new realm of social medicine,
heavily monitoring exposure
and freely prescribing antidotes for any perceived political/ cultural fear, anxiety, or threat.
Do they realize that this amounts to malpractice? Not to mention, counter intuitive?
Do they understand
that instead of protecting and empowering young minds,
they develop weaker and weaker emotional beings?
Do they recognize that they cultivate mono cultural dependents,
retreating to cubicles in 'Stepford
Wives' type environments,
needing more and more 'fixes' in order to cope with outside dissent and controversy?
Do they appreciate that as these young people grow into adulthood,
their lives will grow increasingly
resistant to a uniform, cultural existence?
There won't be enough safe spaces to run to and hid in.
they will retreat in fear, lash out in anger or give up in cynicism at their dystopian world.
take this opportunity to apologize to young adults with whom I have voiced frustration.
I took down my own blog
as well as other articles critical of their behavior.
I don't blame college students. Not their
I hold educators responsible for students' emotional maturity.
They have the power to expand
minds and shape perspective.
The more perspective, the more empowerment and the more empowerment, the more resilience.
Trying to 'protect' students by enabling and enacting avoidance,
does nothing more then send adult
toddlers out into the world,
in need of hand holding, at the affect of everything around them,
unprepared to face their present or future,
and sadly, at risk of being addicted to emotional pain killers of all
Definition of an Enabler:
one who helps another to achieve an end. What end?
What end do we want for our youth?
YA Life Coach:
ER Coaching in Emotional
Resilience & Readiness
Mom Opinion Matters/ER Life Coaching/momopinionmatters.com
Margo Judge (MomOpinion Matters)
Nom Du Plume for Margo Judge
View from The
Paw by Tonka
MomOpinion Matters Book Tag!
WHITE OUT by Mina Niler, nom du plume for Margo Judge,
is now trending!
I hope to keep the momentum
growing until I have a literary agent
all around the globe who have read the novel-
thank you for your enthusiasm and support!
WHITE OUT, written in diary form, tells a character driven, coming of age story
a 16-yr-old recluse who uncovers an evil she can't ignore
and a passion deeper than solitude.
on current events, and Book One of trilogy.
WHITE OUT can be downloaded and read for free at:
What Education Ought To Look Like:
a true-ism that the greatest indicator of future success and happiness is emotional maturity.
It far outweighs intelligence and/or skills.
If we do not help our children
grow emotional resilience,
then they will not develop the capacity to handle stress, conflict, and disappointment,
nor will they be able to navigate life's inevitable twists
segment of today's youth is coming to young adulthood with a shocking lack of inner fortitude,
aided and abetted by those who believe that young people
need and deserve outside protection from life's injustices.
We do our children no service
when we tell them that world should conform to them,
rather than they to the world.
If children grow up with an understanding that life will not always be fair-
play a sport with an
ump or a ref long enough and you learn that very quickly!
They may not get what they want when they want it!
They will be teased about something, at some point,
gets teased about something at some point!
It comes with the territory of growing up.
Someone, bully or foe, will find an inadequacy, a quirk, a physical disability,
use it as a laser
in order to feel stronger, more empowered, to mask their own failures or insecurities.
It is not the exception to the rule of growing up, it
is the rule of growing up.
I was so passionate about the importance of building emotional
resilience that I devoted a whole on-line book to it!
H2O to Go! How to Raise Emotionally Resilient Children on Heart, Humor and Optimism.
(See box below)
This is a philosophy primer with plenty of stories, examples, tools and exercises
to help children grow
emotional strength through lower, middle and high school.
In college, acquiescing to an 18 and 19 year old's insecurities is counter productive.
Booing a speaker off the stage, putting restrictions
on classroom teaching and/or conversation,
in the name of student sensitivities or rights undermines emotional maturity.
If students are so thin skinned and threatened that they protect themselves by becoming intellectual
they will alway be at the affect
of their environment and their peers
All personal happiness and/or professional success will parallel the level of emotional maturity a young person acquires-
when they can move aside. pull themselves
out. recognize opportunity, and keep moving
Young people have much spirit and passion, will and desire, hope and faith.
They do not need protection. They need empowerment.
If we allow them to grow emotional resilience,
they will develop emotional maturity,
and with emotional maturity will come all the fortitude and energy necessary
to power their goals and aspirations. Promise.
On this Thanksgiving…Gratitude and Blessings
I am grateful for those I love-
My family and my friends.
Thank you for bringing me such
I am grateful for my health,
that I can get up in the morning and see and hear and move.
I am grateful for having a passion-writing-
and that I can compose and
share my thoughts and feelings.
I am grateful to all of you for your interest and your following,
for giving me an opportunity
to share, and make a positive contribution.
On this Thanksgiving,
I know that some of you are in pain.
You are struggling,
You feel lost or scared, or
Just know that pain is neither constant nor forever.
It ebbs and flows, increases and decreases.
Struggle is not a flat, forever plain.
It is always a climb up
Then a climb back down.
If you are lost,
look deep inside for your inner
What do you value most in life?
Use that light and map.
to guide you to land.
If on the way you encounter fear
Fear is NOT a wall.
It is simply a roadblock.
Do not try to scale it, or destroy it.
Just imagine moving it to the side,
so you can squeeze through.
It is never too big or heavy. Promise.
And if you are lonely on your journey,
accept loneliness as mentor company
there to help you discover
who you really are,
what you are really looking for
On This Thanksgiving,
no matter where we are,
who we are,
what is happening in our lives,
how we are feeling,
there will be at least one
thing or one person or one pet,
we can be grateful for,
give thanks to,
or be blessed by…
FROM THE WEB
concept behind Thanksgiving ceremony celebration, held with a massive zeal in every nook and corner of U.S.,
is similar to the August Moon Festival in China, Tet Trung
Thu in Vietnam, Succoth in Jew, Kwanzaa in Africa, Pongal in India
and Chusok in Korea. The list is endless. The only difference in the festivals is date, rituals
and customs but the reason behind it
the same, to thank God for a huge fruitful harvest.
The Chinese celebrate August Moon festival
that falls on the 15th day of 8th lunar month of their calendar.
Chinese believe that the moon is roundest and brightest on this day. Below the heavenly moonlight,
lovers speak out their heart to each other. It is also
known as Women Festival. Conventionally women are considered similes
to warm and compassionate virtues and have the gift of fertility, just like Mother Earth. Unlike
the famous pumpkin pie,
the Chinese delicacies
consist of moon-cake. Friends and relatives convey their regard to each other by gifting moon cake.
The Roman harvest festival known as Cerelia was celebrated in the honor of the deity Ceres (Goddess of
Their festival commenced on October
4th and it was a custom to first produced fruits, grains and animals to the Goddess.
Music, parades and sports extended the glee of the ceremony.
The Brazilian thanksgiving is quite contemporary compared to American thanksgiving.
When the Ambassador of Brazil visited U.S. at the invitation of National Cathedral
of Washington, D.C.,
he was enamored by
the concept and brought it to his homeland. In southern Brazil, it is a sort of expressing gratitude
to Almighty for an enormous harvest. Though acclaimed for its Carnival celebrations
they cannot be undermined in other festivities.
The celebration falls on 15th
of August, which is known as Chu-Sok (meaning "fall evening").
It begins on 14th night and continues for three days. Koreans make a dish called 'Songpyon'
unique for that occasion
consisting of rice,
beans, sesame seeds and chestnuts. Before having the food, the family gathers beneath the moonlight,
in remembrance of their ancestors and forefathers. The children dress in long-prescribed
dress dancing in circle
with an inherent
desire of their blessing."
It has been a long
time since I posted on my site!
I have been
writing a book-Young Adult Fiction-that I hope to share with you soon!
Since I am here now, let's talk a little.
All my young adult friends out there, how are you doing?
How is school and grad school, work and relationships?
What I am hearing is that you ladies have big conflicts
jobs and relationships.
Should you relocate to be
with a boyfriend?
Should you give up a career
to have a child?
Should you get married, not get married?
Live with someone, not live with someone?
So let me share some thoughts:
to relocate, or give up your space or independence,
want some co-commitment in your relationship
What does that
It means that both you AND your partner agree
to commit to each other in some equal way.
It does NOT mean giving up your apartment,
to another town or city to be with someone
YOU love that person.
Yes, of course you want to love someone
before you even think of changing your life around for him/her,
but love in itself is not enough.
Someone telling you he/she would be lonely without you is not enough.
You being lonely without that person is not enough.
Are you getting my drift here?
Ladies, when you think about making a major change FOR someone,
you want to ask yourself WHY?
are some negative why's:
1) I need to make my partner
feel that I am committed to the relationship.
don't want my partner to feel that I am only thinking about myself
If I don't do this I will blame myself, that I am weak.
I am afraid the person will say I don't love that person enough
and leave me altogether, if I don't agree to go,
I am too lonely. I need to be with someone.
Why are these reasons negative? Because they come from need and from
No action can ever have positive resusts that
An action is positive when it come
You want to make a conscious choice to
and then be willing to take full responsibility
for its consequences.
some questions to ask yourself about your relationship,
you consider changing jobs, or relocating for someone else:
questions will help you discover if you are coming from want or need:
1) Am I willing to take a risk on this relationship, knowing full well that
I cannot predict its outcome?
2) Am I going to take
responsibly for my partner's insecurities, and override my own values?
3) Is who I am enough for my partner? Am I going to change to please my partner?
3) If it does not work out, will I be angry or vengeful, will I feel inadequate,
4) If I am afraid he will leave
me if i don't go with him,
then will I always be afraid he is going to leave me?
. Do I want to be manipulated that way?
5) Can I handle loneliness or do I always need to be with someone?
6) How much will I compromise to please someone who makes me feel wanted?
7) Do i have a bottom line? What is it?
for thought before you get on the road...
And NO TEXTING!!!!!!
to you soon!
Take good care,
One of the most amazing developmental gifts
we can give our children is travel.
the mind to curiosity and questioning. It heightens awareness and awakens the senses.
It takes us outside our comfort zone, and offers
an opportunity to observe with fresh eyes,.
teaches and/or adds to our greater knowledge and insights.
Travel does not have to be far--it just has to be different.
Travel does not have to be expensive-just rich in sights and sounds.
Travel does not have to take a lot of time--just
enough to make it a memorable experience.
By exhibit, or book, by road trip or train ride--by
flight to visit relatives, or to a foreign land,
travel will grow curious, insightful, resilient and knowledgeable beings!
Happy Explorations and safe and wondrous Travels!
Margo Judge, CPC
Life & Family Coach
Two Books of
Note for the New Year,
For All who
Dream and Seek New Adventures:
NOT A BOX, by Antoinette Portis- (Theordre Suess Geisel Honor )
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
by William Joyce
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll
always be with you.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie the P
| || |
A lot of
growing up takes place between "It fell" and "I dropped it." - Unknown
First things first-Look up--not
at the ground. You know what shoes you put on, but what is the sky wearing?
This is the future of Education! Great Concept!
Watch this TED Talk-
TED Talk- Khan Academy--Future of Education
H20 to Go!
Growing Emotional Resilience & Navigating Through Childhood
With Heart, Humor & Optimism
STOMP Out Bullying™ announces the launch
of its Help Chat Line for youths 13-24 ONLY who are victims of bullying and who are at-risk for suicide.
The Chat is manned by trained volunteers. The Help Cat Line is NOT
available to adults. To Chat with a trained counselor visit www.stompoutbullying.org
and click on NEED HELP?
(The best Child Abuse & Safety Website!)
(Absolutely a must for all teenage girls and mothers!)
(Terrific for all sorts of specific issues. Very
(An Overview of the H20 Philosophy)
'It's a pity how many people tell me that they didn't enjoy lessons
as a child, and found their teacher too strict or unapproachable.
I've never understood why power over someone is more appealing to people than the power to excite
them over something.'